Secondhand Faith
by Coltrane Revival
Summary: In that moment, with the light dancing across her features and the wind blowing through ever so slightly, she knew she was seeing the real Remy Hadley. / Chapter 4 is up! / 7-25-11 / A Cadley story.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Second-hand Faith

Rating: T

Pairing: Married Chameron, but it'll end in Cadley.

Disclaimer: I don't own House M.D, nor do I own Emilie Autumn's song, Second-hand Faith.

This story doesn't fit into a particular slot in the canon timeline, but it's around season 6 - with modifications. Cameron knows about the Dibala incident, but decides to try to work out her marriage with Chase anyway. Kutner's still gone. Foreteen ended a month or two ago. Taub is at a medical conference, so Cam is temporarily working both in the ER and Diagnostics when there's a case. 5x09 Last Resort has not happened...yet.

Enjoy!

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><p>Second-hand Faith: Chapter 1<p>

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><p>Dr. Remy Hadley hated crying people.<p>

Or rather, she hated _encountering_ crying people. It wasn't so much the blotchy face, or the agonized sobs, or the presence of pain. It was the pure awkwardness of the situation. Thirteen was the first to acknowledge the nearly therapeutic feeling of a good cry, when one was necessary, but for her, it was meant to be a solitary event. What exactly are you supposed to say when someone is crying before you? Do they want you to go away, or stay? Physical contact, or none? Do you look at them, or divert your eyes? Is your presence actually helping anything? And what the hell are you supposed to _say? _

So, when she opened the door of the doctor's lounge and heard faint sobbing, she immediately kicked herself for not going straight home.

At the sound of the door opening, the crying halted. Thirteen caught sight of several locks of golden hair spilling over the arm of the couch.

"Dr. Cameron?" Thirteen called hesitantly and took a couple steps towards her. The blonde ER doctor lifted her head, brushing away her tears with swift fingers.

"Dr. Hadley," she replied faintly. She let out an exhale, trying to calm herself. She wasn't really in the mood to chat. "I thought the diagnostic team's shifts were over."

"They are. I just came up here to look for... well, House took..." Her voice trailed off. Cameron raised an eyebrow. With an uncomfortable smile, Remy ran a thumb down the underside of one of her suspenders. "It's not important." _Well, it would be rude to leave now._ She slowly made her way over to the chair adjacent to Cameron and sat down tensely in it. "Are... you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," the blonde doctor replied, sniffling once and biting her lip to keep any loose sobs from escaping. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to look a tiny bit less disheveled than she felt inside. "Chase and I just had a little fight earlier," she explained, using her husband's surname.

Thirteen gave a doubtful nod. "...that resulted in him kicking you out of the house?"

Cameron sighed. "No, I'm just... not up to facing Robert right now. Staying here was the only other option."

The internist studied her for a second before averting her eyes. It was strange, seeing the always caring doctor look so...pitiful. It wasn't a side she'd ever seen before, not that she was with the blonde doctor much. "You can stay at my place if you'd like?" Her voice turned upward at the end as she berated herself for the offer. _The things my tongue says in the presence of a crying woman._

Allison observed the slight wince on the younger doctor's face and laughed softly. She knew enough about Thirteen to know she wasn't the comforting type at all, but it was noble of her to try anyway. "Nice of you to offer, Dr. Hadley, but that's not what you want." Thirteen's cheeks got a little warm. Cameron hoped the other doctor hadn't taken her words offensively. "I'll be fine here."

"Alright then." _Is now a proper time to leave? But she looks so lonely,_ Thirteen thought. "Can I ask what you two were fighting about?"

Cameron sighed, and looked away. She couldn't tell the other doctor about Dibala. "Robert and I are just figuring out that we don't have the same values. I love him - he's my husband, after all. But sometimes I just feel like I don't know him. Or that I don't want to know him."

Thirteen nodded. She could relate to that.

After a few moments of silence, Cameron turned her attention back to the internist. "Why exactly did you and Foreman break up?"

Remy laughed a little, smiling. "We... I don't know exactly what it was. I just know that in the beginning, I genuinely liked him. And by the end, I was only with him because I was supposed to be with him. The passion just wasn't there, you know? He was safe, but that's not a good enough reason to be with anyone. Not on its own, anyway."

_Is that how Robert and I are now? Together because we're supposed to be? _"I'll be honest, your relationship with him was not something I expected."

"And why is that?" Thirteen asked, not unkindly. The head of the ER detected faint amusement in the internist's eyes.

"I don't know... just figured you'd date someone with a little more... life."

The other doctor laughed. "And why is that?" she repeated.

Allison bit her lip as embarrassment rose to her cheeks. She shrugged. "Just a feeling."

Thirteen wanted to inquire further, but let it go. She glanced down at her watch; it was getting late. She didn't have anywhere to be, but it was probably best to let the other doctor get some rest. The internist stood. "Well, I should probably get going..."

"Yeah, that's fine," Cameron said, a little too quickly. "Thanks," she added.

Thirteen nodded in reply. She noted that the other doctor wasn't crying anymore, and silently congratulated herself on not making the situation worse. She had a tendency to do that. "If you need anyone to talk to or anything...I'm here, yeah?" she said, a little awkwardly.

Cameron grinned; the dark haired doctor's uneasiness was endearing. "Yeah. Thanks, Dr. Hadley."

"You don't have to call me that."

"So what should I call you, then?"

Remy thought for a moment. "As long as it isn't a nickname House came up with, anything is fine. Thirteen's the exception."

Allison smiled again. "Okay, then. Good night, Thirteen."

"Good night, Allison."

Thirteen left the lounge and approached the elevator. She was happy to have a conversation with Cameron that wasn't work related; they weren't friends, but she always had an admiration for the doctor. Dr. Cameron was genuinely passionate about helping patients, more so than almost any other doctor at PPTH, and that was something Remy respected.

On the way out of the lobby, she stopped. Thirteen opened up the supply closet on her right and withdrew a warm blanket from one of the shelves. Running back up several flights of stairs, she returned to the doctor's lounge and opened the door as silently as she could. The blonde doctor was curled up on the couch, already asleep. She slipped through the opening and closed the door just as silently.

Remy unfolded the blanket and carefully arranged it over Cameron. When it was in place, she surveyed the blonde's sleeping form for a moment or two.

Then, she went home.

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><p>I have a bad habit of not finishing my WIPs. However, I'm intent on finishing this one. I've mapped out the ten chapters, so I actually have a plan to follow. If I do happen to lose steam on this, I will publish the notes so y'all know how the story ends. Few things are more annoying than unfinished fan fics... But I will finish this!<p>

Let me know what you think! Chapters will get longer.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still don't own House, M.D. or Emilie Autumn's Second-hand Faith.

Thanks, people who have read/reviewed! Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

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><p>Second-hand Faith: Chapter 2<p>

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><p>The first thing she noticed as she approached the Diagnostics room was husband and wife reunited. Through the glass, she could see Chase holding Cameron's hand, and Cameron laughing at something he had said. It was nice to see them both smiling again, yet Thirteen couldn't help but think the two of them were trying to squeeze new life from a dying relationship. They seemed happy now, but the whole team knew they were fighting more and more frequently. At what point does holding on just become ridiculous? Thirteen sighed and took a sip of her coffee. It wasn't any of her business.<p>

"Hey," Remy greeted, walking into the room and setting her drink down across from the two doctors.

"Morning, Thirteen," Chase replied, clearly in a good mood. Thirteen's eyes met Cameron's, and they shared a short smile.

"Do we have a case yet?"

Chase shook his head.

Moments later, their crippled leader limped through the door. "Good morning, sunshines!" House called out with a grandiose voice. Foreman followed, head tiled downwards, jaw set firmly with anger. He sat in the chair beside Thirteen and emitted a slight growl.

Thirteen turned to the neurologist. "Do I dare ask...?" she ventured.

Foreman shook his head. "Better not to."

"What's the case for today?" the Aussie asked.

"We don't have one anymore! Do we, Foreman?" House said cheerfully. Foreman scowled again.

"I can go pick one up from the clinic," said Thirteen.

"Yes, I believe that you can," House alleged with an overly solemn face. "However, you're not going to, because we're going to play..." he reached into his back pocket and flung a deck of cards onto the table, "strip poker!"

Rolling her eyes, Thirteen scooted back her chair and stood up to leave.

"Where ya going, Thirty-One?" House demanded, swiftly blocking her path with his cane.

"To help in the clinic. I have this thing called a medical license..."

"You just don't want to play cuz there isn't a decent pair of breasts around here. Wait a second..." House dramatically scanned the room with his cane and paused at Cameron. "Never mind, false alarm."

"Goodbye, House," Remy said pointedly.

"_Please_," House whined, being intentionally annoying. "Fifteen minutes of strip poker, and I won't make a bisexual joke about you for _two hours_."

Thirteen briefly weighed her options. This was perhaps the best deal House had ever offered her. But before she could open her mouth, Foreman interrupted.

"Come on, House, enough with the strip poker."

The older doctor lifted his cane from Thirteen's path and pointed it at Foreman. "Dark chocolate over there is just annoyed by the idea of anyone else seeing Huntington's undressed. I hate to break it to ya, but just because you sank a hole in one..." House thrust his cane forward, "doesn't mean the rest of us can't admire the course."

Foreman and Thirteen exchanged exasperated looks. "How many times do I have to tell you, I don't have feelings for her anymore?"

"Right... and lupus is a real disease!" House said sarcastically.

As Foreman began to respond, Chase interrupted. "While this is a lovely conversation," he said, "are those of us not discussing Thirteen and sex allowed to go do something _productive_?"

"Fiiine," House moaned with an exaggerated sigh. "You guys are no fun." The team stood up and began to file out of the room. "Lesbian! Hold up." With a groan, Thirteen turned around.

"Wear this," House ordered, pulling a cheap-looking necklace out of his pocket. "Make sure Wilson sees it on you."

It was against her better judgment, but she knew better than to argue. Taking the chain, she slipped it over her head. "Are you going to tell me why?" she asked, knowing the answer.

"Is Chase a raging closeted homosexual?"

She shook her head disapprovingly and left the room. Catching sight of the blonde doctor up ahead, Thirteen hurried down the corridor.

"Dr. Cameron," Thirteen called, smiling at her when the blonde turned around.

"Hey, Thirteen," she replied, silently enjoying the feel of the internist's nickname on her tongue.

"Need an extra pair of hands in the ER?"

"Always," Cameron said gratefully. She eyed the brunette for a second. "You weren't wearing that necklace when you came in earlier, were you?"

Remy shook her head. "One of House's antics. I know now not to ask."

The blonde doctor laughed. "You learned that lesson faster than I did."

"Well, Taub should be back from the Memphis conference tomorrow, and you won't have to deal with him for a while longer."

"It hasn't been so bad." Cameron's gaze lingered on the younger doctor, before dropping to the ground. She hit the elevator button. "Thanks again for last night, by the way."

Thirteen shrugged and slipped her hands into her lab coat pockets. The two of them stepped in. "I didn't do anything."

Cameron decided against arguing, knowing it probably wouldn't change anything. She briefly touched the internist's arm; Thirteen tensed. "Thanks anyway," the ER head repeated softly. Thirteen gave her a slight nod. Together, they waited in semi-comfortable silence as the elevator dropped.

When the doors opened again, Thirteen found herself face-to-face with Wilson. "Good morning," she greeted, following Cameron off the elevator.

Upon seeing Thirteen, Wilson stood in stunned silence. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, before shaking his head and muttering an aggravated "House" under his breath. Remy turned and watched the oncologist step into the elevator, still shaking his head. _Well, I wonder what that was all about._

"You coming?" Cameron called, pulling her back to the present. Momentarily entranced by the twinkle in the older doctor's eyes, Remy followed her into the ER.

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><p>Thirteen peeled the shirt off of her body and threw it into her open locker, surveying the bruise on her hip. The ER had been particularly busy that day, and in the commotion, Remy had an unfortunate run-in with a gurney. Of course, every doctor, nurse, and family member that bustled through <em>had<em> to accidentally bump her right where she was bruised. Funny how that always seemed to happen.

"Hey," said a familiar voice. Remy turned and smiled when she saw the blonde doctor approach. Her pink scrubs had streaks of blood across them. Cameron's face grew concerned when she saw Thirteen's bruised hip. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"A gurney assaulted me a few hours ago," Thirteen joked, taking on a faux-macho tone of voice. "I'm fine, though... you should've seen the other guy." Cameron couldn't hold back a giggle.

"I'll take your word for it," the older doctor assured her, and with a grin, she began changing into jeans and a sweater.

"_Al, I'll meet you at the car!"_ a voice bellowed from outside the locker room door.

"_Okay!_" Cameron called back. She turned to Thirteen, who had finished changing clothes. "Hey, Chase and I are going to grab a beer or two, relax, maybe watch the game. Want to come?"

Thirteen opened her mouth, searching for an excuse. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with the blonde. She just wasn't used to socializing in ways that didn't start with drugs and end with sex. "Thanks for the offer, but there are some things I should get done." Cameron gave her an amused look, clearly unconvinced.

"You're an interesting one, Remy," Cameron told her, using her name for the first time.

Thirteen narrowed her eyes a little. "Oh yeah? And why's that, Allison?"

The blonde doctor tried to suppress a smirk, but her eyes gave her amusement away. "I've just never met someone with such an _aversion_ to friendship."

"I don't have an aversion to friendship!" Thirteen argued, indignant. Meeting Cameron's eyes, the internist raised an eyebrow. "What? I don't!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"So I don't have friendly chats with everyone I come across. Why does that matter?"

"Do you have friendly chats with _anyone_?" Cameron asked.

"Of course," Thirteen insisted. Cameron looked skeptical. "Oh come on, Cameron." The younger doctor searched for examples. Foreman? They had bored chats, dirty chats, and angry chats. House? Pretty much the same three, though the second option was significantly more one-sided. Chase? Strictly professional chats, with the occasional awkward attempt at small talk. Kutner? They had shared plenty of friendly chats, but he probably wasn't the strongest example to use. "_We've_ had a friendly chat or two!"

"Does that make us friends?" She posed the question in a joking manner, but a part of Allison really wanted to know.

Remy looked at her for a second, shoulders tensed. "Yeah, I guess."

"Friends that have an occasional drink together after work?" The blonde grinned.

Thirteen rolled her eyes, but felt happy inside. Allison really was a great person, and Remy enjoyed their budding friendship. "Man, you're really desperate for some company, aren't you?" she teased.

"Maybe."

"Fine, because you're so insistent," she said, giving in. "What game is on tonight, anyway?"

Grabbing her stuff from her locker, Cameron shook her head. "No clue. I just know it'll involve Chase, beer, and a lot of yelling. Part of the reason I need other company."

As they made their way out of the hospital, Thirteen turned her head towards the other doctor again. "Chase won't mind that I'm tagging along, will he?"

"No, no, of course not."

And that's how the next week and a half was. With coaxing from Cameron, Thirteen found herself spending more and more time with the blonde doctor. Maybe she was starting to develop a bit of a crush on the ER head, but who wouldn't? It didn't matter how she felt; she was married, and Remy Hadley wasn't the meddling type. A crush on someone unavailable was common enough; she'd ignore the growing feelings, plain and simple.

More complicated was how Allison Cameron felt. It was the little things that got her - the way she fiddled with her suspenders, the barely visible scar on her right cheek, the embarrassed look on her face when she's realized she's revealed something personal, the twinkle in her eye when she decides she's okay with it.

When she wasn't careful, Remy Hadley took her breath away, and that scared her more than anything.

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><p>Let me know what you thought! Reviews are love.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own House, M.D. or the song Second-hand Faith by Emilie Autumn.

Thanks for the reviews/story alerts/ etc! Here's another chapter - longest one so far. Enjoy!

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><p>Second-hand Faith: Chapter 3<p>

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><p>Thirteen sipped at her coffee and tried to shut out the incessant voice assaulting her ears. Her car broke down on the way to work, and while she only lived ten minutes away, she had to wait for Triple A to arrive. The young doctor had been running late to begin with, and with the additional car troubles, she managed to arrive at the hospital right when House did. What perfect timing.<p>

Sensing her general irritation and slight hangover, House decided now was prime time to interrogate her about her recent sexual endeavors. She let his comments wash over her, one after the other, too tired to swat them back.

A sense of relief filled Remy when she arrived at the Diagnostics room, but the feeling quickly turned into worry. She could hear semi-muffled screaming coming from inside, and through the glass, she saw Chase and Cameron in the middle of a heated argument. Foreman and Taub were sitting at the table, transfixed.

"Oh boy, is it Christmas already?" House snickered. He pushed open the door.

"I just can't put up with this anymore, Al!" Chase was shouting, lashing out an arm in frustration. "Where do you get off being so damn _high and mighty_, huh? What gives you any right?"

"I'm your _wife,_ Robert," Cameron yelled back. "I'm just trying to _help_ you, but you keep pushing me _away_-"

"Oh, _I'm _pushing you away?" the Aussie shot back, incredulous. Neither doctor seemed aware of House's and Thirteen's presences in the room. "Is that what you call it now? I-"

Thirteen cleared her throat timidly. Both blonde heads snapped to the two doctors in the doorway. Remy felt awkward interrupting, but she knew letting the fight go on would just give House a new cartridge of ammo.

"Forget it, Al." The Aussie flexed his jaw and headed for the door. "I don't know why I even bother anymore. Y'know, maybe if I was _dying_, we'd have something that resembled a functional relationship." With that, he stormed out of the room.

Thirteen examined the remaining blonde doctor. Her cheeks were red, her hair was messy, and her eyes had dark circles beneath them. Remy tried to make eye contact with the ER head, but she refused to look up from the ground. The internist took a seat next to Foreman.

"Trouble in paradise?" a chipper House asked. Cameron didn't respond.

"We have a case," Foreman said, shooting House a look. He opened up the folder. "Patient is a 24 year old female. Dry skin, increasing problems with coordination and balance-"

"Don't care," House dismissed. "So Blondie. Why don't you share with the class what you and Prince Charming were fussing about?"

"I'm going to the ER." The blonde doctor turned to leave.

"No, you're not." House didn't budge from his place in front of the door. "What was it this time, did Chase decide he wanted a woman with real curves-"

"I work in the ER, House, you can't keep me here," she snapped.

"Correction: you work in the ER unless I have a case and am missing a doctor."

"I'm back..." Taub offered meekly.

"But now Chase is gone, so we're a doctor short. Glad to know my ducklings can do simple math. So Cameron! You were saying?"

Cameron looked like she was on the verge of tears. Thirteen wanted to tell off House, but she figured doing so would just provoke the cripple. That's when she caught sight of a pretty nurse approaching the Diagnostics room. _Is she new? I've never seen her before._ She glanced again at a distraught Cameron, and then at a giddy House, who looked like he was burning an ant with a magnifying glass. Remy sighed, and then dramatically whipped her head around.

"_Shit,_" Thirteen muttered, loud enough for House to hear, and glanced through the glass at the approaching nurse.

House turned to face her. "Yes?"

As the nurse put her hand on the door's handle, Thirteen dashed out of her seat and threw herself behind the bookcase on the back wall. The door clicked open.

"Are you Dr. Gregory House?" she heard the nurse ask.

"Who's wondering?"

"Dr. Cuddy said to-"

House pushed the nurse through the open door with his cane, swung it shut, and gave a friendly goodbye wave.

"Lesbian! Get over here."

The internist poked her head out from the bookcase. "Is she gone?" Thirteen asked with a concerned look on her face.

House's grin threatened to overtake his face. "Oh, Thirty-One, I knew your slutty exploits would come back to nip you in the ass someday." He paused and took on a contemplative expression. "Well that's a pleasant image..."

"Let it go, House." Thirteen's face showed she meant business... and few things made House happier than meddling where he wasn't supposed to.

"And what exactly would have happened if she had seen you, Huntington's?"

Thirteen let loose an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. "I... kind of forgot to call her."

"It really is Christmas after all!" House whipped open the door and glanced down the hallway, checking which way the nurse went.

"What...House...no!" Thirteen exclaimed, her eyes growing large.

"Trust me, Thirteen, I'm doing you a favor."

"_Don't_," she said forcefully.

That was all the encouragement he needed. Ignoring Thirteen's cries of protest, House launched himself into a speedy hobble down the corridor, cane in hand.

Satisfied with her work, Thirteen turned back to the table. Cameron was seated again across from her, and she caught the internist's gaze with her own. "Thanks," the head of the ER mouthed with a small smile. Her face was still red, but she looked a little less in pain. Thirteen returned a quick smile.

Foreman and Taub were just staring at her. Thirteen ignored them. "So, we have a case?"

Clearing his throat, Foreman turned his attention back to the chart. "Like I was saying. 24 year old female. Dry skin, increasing problems with coordination and balance, vision impairment, and she claims she's been going deaf over the past week... go."

"Could be Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease," Taub said. "It'd explain the difficulty in motor functions, vision problems-"

"But not the dry skin or deafness," Thirteen interrupted. "Barakat syndrome covers dry skin, deafness, and coordination problems-"

"But not her failing eyesight," said Foreman. The Diagnostics room was silent for a few moments.

"Refsum's disease?" Cameron suggested.

Foreman glanced at each of the doctors for objections, but they had none. "I'll go run a blood test."

As the doctors began filing out of the room, Thirteen reached out and grasped Cameron's wrist. "Wait."

The blonde doctor turned back to her, shivering slightly at Thirteen's skin on her own. Remy's hand lingered a moment longer than it needed to before she released Cameron.

"Let me take you somewhere," Remy forced out.

"We have a patient...?"

"It only takes one to run a blood test, and Foreman's on it already."

"We haven't analyzed the test yet. If her phytanic acid level is normal, it isn't Refsum's and we're back to square one," Cameron said. Thirteen sighed and massaged the back of her neck with her fingers. "What's this about?" the blonde doctor asked, a little confused.

"Nothing, I just think it might be nice for you to spend some time outside of the hospital."

Allison smiled softly. Two weeks ago, she never would have guessed that Thirteen would be the one trying to comfort her after a fight with Chase. "I appreciate it, I really do," said Cameron. She took the brunette's hand again and squeezed it. "But I'm fine, I promise. I'm just going to head down to the ER. It'll make me feel better."

"Screaming babies and gunshot wounds make you feel better?" Thirteen said lightly, raising an eyebrow. "If I wasn't worried about you before, I certainly am now!"

"Oh, stop," Allison replied with a slightly choked laugh. "What's your great solution?"

The internist smirked, eyes sparkling, and Allison's breath caught in her throat. "Let me show you."

"Is it... here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady. It was hard to do, with the younger doctor so close. Cameron took a step back to add some distance.

"No," Thirteen replied, shaking her head. "But it's a ten minute drive away, so if the blood test doesn't confirm Refsum's, we'll be back on no time."

Cameron looked hesitant.

"And I don't really want to be around when House comes back from his investigation," Remy added.

"Oh, so the real reason for this has been revealed," the ER head teased.

"C'mon," Thirteen said, and with a grin, she left the Diagnostics room. "Taub," she called out to the shorter doctor. "Page us if anything happens." Taub nodded.

"So where are we going?" Cameron asked, catching up to the internist.

"You'll see," Thirteen answered cryptically.

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><p>"<em>Paintballing?<em>" Cameron questioned with surprise when they arrived at their destination.

"Of course!" Thirteen said, hopping around her car and opening the passenger door before Cameron could. "M'lady," Remy joked, holding out her hand with exaggerated chivalry. Allison still blushed at the action.

"You said _I_ was messed up for wanting to go clean up gunshot wounds in the ER! This is your idea of relaxation?"

"Those are real gunshot wounds. These are fake ones you're causing," replied Thirteen knowledgably.

"Well I wasn't planning on _causing_ any real gunshot wounds. Jeez, what do _you_ do during your ER shifts?" Cameron said, crossing her arms.

"Are you coming or what?" Remy observed Allison's childish stance and couldn't suppress a grin. How could Chase bear to make her upset?

"I don't like guns," she stated simply.

"So when we get inside, you can shoot me for dragging you here. And by shoot me, I mean try to, because I'm going to kick your ass in there."

"Wow, you're great at making people feel better." Allison said it sarcastically, but it really was true.

"I'll go easy on you, alright? Just get inside already!"

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><p>Two hours later, Remy and Allison were sprawled out on the ground beside a hay stack, chests heaving, guns in hand. Remy was covered in significantly more paint.<p>

"I thought you said you didn't like guns?" panted Thirteen.

"I don't," replied Cameron, panting just as hard. "Doesn't mean I'm not awesome at shooting them, though."

"I was going easy on you."

"Keep telling yourself that," Cameron said, deliberately eying Thirteen's paint-splattered suit. With a chuckle, Thirteen lightly shoved the blonde's arm.

Allison sat up and crossed her legs, facing Thirteen. The younger doctor's eyes were closed, basking in the sun, and Cameron used it as an opportunity to really observe her. Messy wisps of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail framed her face, and the content rise and fall of her chest made Allison feel oddly safe. In that moment, with the light dancing across her features and the wind blowing through ever so slightly, she knew she was seeing the real Remy Hadley. Not the cold-hearted mystery persona she showed at work, or the sensual, slick seductress she showed at night clubs. Lying in front of her was the vulnerable Remy, the playful side Allison was slowly uncovering.

Sitting back against the hay bale, Allison sighed happily. There, in the middle of the paintball field with Thirteen, she felt a greater intimacy than she had in a long time.

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><p>And that's Chapter 3. Let me know your thoughts! Reviews are love.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own House, M.D., nor do I own Emilie Autumn's song, Second-hand Faith.

Thanks to all who have read/reviewed/story alerted/etc! Just so you know, this story is going to get a bit darker/angstier over the next few chapters. However, never fear, our dear central couple will have a happy ending!

5goofy24 - Thanks for your review! I'll respond here since you're anon and can't receive review replies. Chase's comment was aimed at Allison's first husband; he still has no idea that Cameron is falling for our dear Remy. But he'll know by the end!

Without further ado, here is the next chapter.

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><p>Second-hand Faith: Chapter 4<p>

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><p>Dr. Cameron walked into the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital feeling happier than she had been in awhile. She had spent an incredibly fun afternoon the day before with Thirteen, and when they returned to the hospital, Foreman informed her that her diagnosis was correct and the patient had already been treated and discharged. She spent the rest of her shift in the ER without anything too horribly wrong occurring; Remy stayed and helped for an hour or two, even though her shift was over. And to top it all off, she returned home to a beautiful meal laid out on the dinner table and an apologetic Chase begging her forgiveness. She finally felt like she had her life under control.<p>

Chase was gone in the morning to take care of some paperwork, but he left a note and breakfast on the table next to her side of the bed.

Exiting the elevator, she made her way towards the Diagnostics room, two coffees in hand. She glanced at her watch, then back at the room, and frowned. Remy was usually fifteen minutes early to work, but even though her shift started two minutes ago, she wasn't inside.

"Hey, Al!" Chase greeted, smiling, when Cameron popped her head through the door.

"Hey," Allison said, returning the smile. "Do any of you know where Thirteen is?"

"She was here ten minutes ago," Foreman told her. "She went off to run some test, I think a nurse asked her to. Is it urgent?"

"Nope. I'll see you guys later."

As the ER head closed the door and started down the hall, she saw Thirteen leave one of the laboratories, shoving a piece of paper into her coat pocket.

"Rem!" she called out, her breath catching a little by the internist's presence. She lifted the tray of two cups. "I hit the coffee shop before work today, grabbed you a -"

"Can't talk," Thirteen interrupted briskly and brushed past her, not making eye contact. Cameron was stunned for a moment.

"Wait, hold on," Allison said, grabbing the internist's forearm before she went further.

"_What?_" the younger doctor snapped. Her eyes were colder than Cameron had ever seen them.

"Is... something wrong?" The ER head kicked herself internally. Obviously there was something wrong, but she didn't know what else to say.

"No. So leave me alone." Ripping her arm out of the blonde doctor's grasp, Thirteen spun around and walked away.

Cameron felt sick to her stomach. She had never witnessed the internist so angry before, and certainly not towards her. What did she do wrong? Was it about yesterday? Did Thirteen know about the blonde's growing feelings for her?

She had heard enough gossip about Thirteen to know she could be heartless, emotionally closed off, cold... but Allison was sure she'd gotten past that mask. Remy let her in deeper, she was sure of it. So why was she suddenly being thrust back outside the stony exterior she showed the general public? Why now?

Swallowing down the feeling of nausea building up, she got in the elevator and returned to her post at the ER. She passed off the two drinks to a couple of tired-looking nurses. For the next few hours, Cameron tried her best to focus more on her work and less on the hurt glint in Thirteen's eyes.

* * *

><p>The second her lunch break started, Allison rushed down to the cafeteria in search of the internist.<p>

"Al!" an Aussie voice behind her called.

"Hey, Robert... Do you know if Thirteen's coming down to eat?"

"No clue," Chase replied nonchalantly, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket. "Let's grab a table?"

"I need to find her."

"Still?" Chase loaded up the rest of his tray, paid, and headed to an open two-seater. The internist sat down across from him. "Aren't you going to eat anything?"

She shook head, and then confessed, "I think something's wrong with Thirteen."

The Aussie took a bite out of his apple and gave her a questioning look. "What makes you say that?"

"She's just... being really cold."

Chase laughed and tossed the apple back onto his plate. "Al. This is _Thirteen_ you're talking about. If she was being anything other than cold, you'd know something was wrong."

"Chase, I'm being serious." Her husband stopped laughing.

"Okay... well, how long has she been like this for?"

"When I talked to her this morning."

"One conversation? _That's_ how you know something's up? C'mon, Al, you're being paranoid."

"I know something is wrong."

Chase nodded and scratched his head. "Thirteen might still be up in the lab running tests. Check there?"

"Thanks, Chase," she said, and left the table.

* * *

><p>Sure enough, she was in the lab, doing what appeared to be a basic metabolic panel.<p>

"Thirteen?" the blonde doctor called out hesitantly.

The brunette looked up for a moment, and then back at the blood. "Hey."

Cameron stepped closer, observing the other doctor's form. "What's going on?"

Thirteen let out a sigh, and then rotated the lens. "This guy's sodium level is right at 141. Looks like our diagnosis was wrong."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about," Cameron said softly. Thirteen pushed her stool back from the microscope and searched the blonde doctor's eyes for a moment. She didn't say anything. "Let's grab a drink or something after work?" she asked with hope.

"Can't. Busy," Thirteen replied curtly, removing the blood sample. She stood up from the stool, preparing to leave, but Cameron stood in her way. "Move, Cameron."

"Back to Cameron, now?" Allison sighed and tried to make her voice gentler. "I'm just worried about you, Remy. Why are you pulling away all of a sudden?" When Thirteen didn't respond, the ER head continued, touching the other doctor's tricep lightly with her fingertips. "I'm your _friend_, Rem. You can talk to me. I just want you to be okay."

"You know why I like not having friends, Allison?" Thirteen asked, jaw firm. "So I can avoid this." She gestured between the two of them. "Stop questioning me, and leave me alone."

And for the second time that day, Thirteen ripped herself from the blonde's grasp and left.

* * *

><p>When Cameron got off her shift at 8pm, the Diagnostic team was already gone. She checked the lounge and labs just in case Thirteen was still around, but she nowhere to be found. Giving up, the blonde doctor got into her car and left the parking lot.<p>

Allison used the car ride home to organize her thoughts. In retrospect, she regretted how she handled the Thirteen situation. If Remy had grown to trust her, as the ER head hoped she had, Allison definitely just blew that to pieces. Thirteen deserved to have her own space, and Cameron was violating that.

She sighed and dropped her head back against the seat, waiting for the traffic light to change. She hated her natural behavior sometimes. Whenever anything was broken, she had to fix it, and that impulse may have cost her Thirteen's friendship.

As she traveled down a smaller street, the lit "open" sign at Sharrie's caught her eye. Parked by the sidewalk a little ways behind was Thirteen's car. _I should go apologize to her._ Flicking her signal on, she turned and parked against the sidewalk.

Cameron pushed open the door and surveyed the bar. It was packed, alive, hectic, but when her eyes swung to the far right corner, she saw a sullen Thirteen sitting alone. The ER head glanced back around the room, observing two decently attractive women attempting to send her "fuck me" eyes, and more than a few men checking her out. The internist didn't seem to notice.

Thirteen frowned as the blonde doctor approached and sat down. "What are you doing here," she stated more than asked. There were several empty beer bottles on the table, but she didn't appear to be visibly drunk.

"Are all these yours?" Allison asked, gesturing to the drinks. Thirteen nodded morosely, and kept nursing the drink in her hand. She sighed. "You aren't being yourself, Rem."

"Just because I didn't want to go out for drinks with you doesn't mean I'm not being myself, Allie," the younger doctor snapped back.

"I know that," Cameron replied calmly. "But there are more than a few attractive men and women who want to take you home tonight, and here you are, sitting alone. _That_ isn't you."

Thirteen glared at her bitterly, and took another sip from the bottle. "Look, Allison, I just don't want to talk about it. Okay?"

After a few moments of silence, the blonde nodded. "Okay."

Thirteen gave a humorless laugh in disbelief. "That's it? After stalking and pestering me all day, you'll actually leave me alone? No lecture on my 'aversion to friendship' first?"

Cameron let out a breath and leaned back in her seat. "I'm not trying to find out whatever's wrong with you, Remy. I just needed you to know that you can talk to me. You always can." With a small smile, she got up to leave.

"Wait," Thirteen called out, halting the blonde. After a second's hesitation, she stood up. "Take a walk with me?"

Cameron nodded wordlessly.

"Let me go pay. I'll be outside in a sec," the internist said, and made her way to the front of the bar. Cameron exited, waiting outside.

When Thirteen re-appeared, they shared a slightly awkward smile. "This way?" Allison asked, gesturing to her left. Thirteen nodded.

Together, they walked along the sidewalk in silence for a few minutes. Remy tried to gather her thoughts, and Cameron let her take her time. She wasn't going to pressure the brunette.

"Here," Remy said after a while. She pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and offered it to the older doctor. Cameron took the slip from her and carefully unfolded it, pausing under a lamppost. Remy waited in silence beside her.

"This CAG reading..." Allison mumbled as understanding slowly sunk in. She turned back to the younger doctor. "How many years?"

"Eight, at most." Remy took the paper from her hand.

Allison nodded numbly, and took a deep breath. Tears began to build up in her eyes, but she blinked them back. It wouldn't be fair of her to cry in front of Thirteen. She needed strength.

They kept walking in silence; Allison knew that if she used her voice, the tears would come. Instead, she grabbed Thirteen's hand and laced their fingers together. Remy squeezed back lightly.

When she finally had herself under control, Cameron let out a breath. "I'm so sorry, Rem."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

"I'm still sorry." When she didn't get a response, Allison looked over at the other doctor. In the dim light, she saw Remy's tear-stricken cheeks.

"Oh, Rem..." Guiding the two of them towards the wall, Allison wrapped the younger woman in her arms. Thirteen had always been the taller, stronger one, but there in her arms, she felt so fragile. Stroking her hair and back with one hand, Cameron pulled her even tighter towards her own body. Remy buried her face in the blonde's neck, her own arms wrapped around the blonde's waist.

All promises she made to herself about not letting herself get emotionally attached to the married doctor left as Remy allowed the ER head to hold her. Before she knew it, sobs were slipping past her restraints and her whole body was shaking uncontrollably. "I don't want this, Allie," she choked out through her tears.

"I know, sweetheart, I know." Cameron nuzzled her face into Remy's soft hair and held her close. Her own sobs were threatening to escape her throat, but she forced them down. She needed to be strong. For Remy.

Thirteen let all of her pent-up frustration and self-hatred and sadness out, trying to dig herself deeper into the blonde doctor's arms. Her mind lost all composure as Allison's fingers brushed through her hair and knocked her walls away. Her thoughts lost all coherency as she cried into the warmth of Allison's soft body. Her touch became the only thing keeping Thirteen grounded with reality, and all Remy knew in that moment was that she didn't want Cameron to leave.

"I can't do this," Thirteen cried. "I can't. I just can't." All of the drinks she had had that night caught up to her, and her entire body felt like it was weakening. "I'm not ready."

"I'll protect you," Cameron promised, holding the slowly crumbling woman tighter in her embrace. She kissed Remy's temple tenderly and squeezed her again, keeping her warmed in the cold night air. "I won't let you fall."

* * *

><p>Whew! And that's Chapter 4. Reviews are love!<p> 


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